okay pat passed out under dana's car
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
