shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
