my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
