Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize