There is no way he is gay with that hair.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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