can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
