I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
