:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
