after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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