so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Randomize
