I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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