All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
