Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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