I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
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