I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
