I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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