do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
