some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Randomize
