I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
I did not marry a roomba.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize