What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
