Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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