Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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