Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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