So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Randomize
