i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
