No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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