Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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