Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
