He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
