Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
