The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
