need another drink. this is the easiest way
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
