Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Well I just put wine in my tea
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
