I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
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