I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize
