so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
