So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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