Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
