Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Randomize
