Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
