If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize