im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
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