Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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