Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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