Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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