My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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