Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
