You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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