im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I wish I could teleport
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
