He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
