Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
