Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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