My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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