I just made out with a guy for $7.
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
