it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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