Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
