how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
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