dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
