I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize