woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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