and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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