Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
