By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I puked a lego.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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