i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
When are your genitals available?
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize