I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize