just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
