I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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