I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Your cock deserves a montage
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize