let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
it's like heaven, but drunker
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
