is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
His nipple licking is glorious
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